The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
—Lucille Ball, 1983
Live forever or die in the attempt.
—Joseph Heller, 1961
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to
prolong them.
—Jack London, 1916
Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.
—Robert Orben, 1991
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
—Maurice Chevalier, 1960
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some time die, which is not so.
—Stephen Leacock, 1910
The majority of people, though they do not know what to do with this life, long for another
that shall have no end.
—Anatole France, 1914
Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy
Sunday afternoon.
—Susan Ertz, 1943
***
A sage dies in time.
—Maxim Gorky, 1908
Tired of all this, for restful death I cry.
—William Shakespeare, 1609
Death [is] the only thing we haven’t succeeded in completely vulgarizing.
—Aldous Huxley, 1936
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
—Woody Allen, 1976
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in
terror, like the passengers in his car.
—Jack Handey, 1993
I’m having a glorious old age. One of my greatest delights is that I have outlived most of
my opposition.
—Maggie Kuhn, 1978
[He] is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
—Saki, 1914
On the World and Time, Life and Death
203
—Lucille Ball, 1983
Live forever or die in the attempt.
—Joseph Heller, 1961
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to
prolong them.
—Jack London, 1916
Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.
—Robert Orben, 1991
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
—Maurice Chevalier, 1960
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some time die, which is not so.
—Stephen Leacock, 1910
The majority of people, though they do not know what to do with this life, long for another
that shall have no end.
—Anatole France, 1914
Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy
Sunday afternoon.
—Susan Ertz, 1943
***
A sage dies in time.
—Maxim Gorky, 1908
Tired of all this, for restful death I cry.
—William Shakespeare, 1609
Death [is] the only thing we haven’t succeeded in completely vulgarizing.
—Aldous Huxley, 1936
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
—Woody Allen, 1976
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in
terror, like the passengers in his car.
—Jack Handey, 1993
I’m having a glorious old age. One of my greatest delights is that I have outlived most of
my opposition.
—Maggie Kuhn, 1978
[He] is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
—Saki, 1914
On the World and Time, Life and Death
203