hind-sight, by ‘putting two and two together’, you really should have seen
their despair building … but you didn’t. Years later, Richard Feynman who
suffered the death of his lovely young wife from ‘TB’, learned to accommodate science within the important things of life
34
;
[Tell your son to …] stop trying to fill your head with science - for to fill your
heart with love is enough.
Robert and Emily now not only carried the most unnatural burden of a parent,
the death of their child, but guilt and stigma. Maybe they learned something
from the way Augustin and Edith coped with the death of Austen (Chap. 1).
Even so, our current understanding of child bereavement is such that Robert
and Emily’s life would have changed forever. Men and women grieve differently. Men try to rationalise their life by continuing to do all the ‘normal’
things. But mothers are always crying inside. Even years later, a phrase, a
mannerism, a look … reminds them of what has passed bringing silent floods
of tears which for fathers, although understood, is both sudden and unexpected. Women more than men look for support amongst family and friends
to talk about their bereavement. But it is not so simple. Friends we have had
for years are often uncomfortable with the depth of our grief, ‘crossing the
road’ to avoid contact for fear of saying the wrong thing, and for the Le
Rossignols this would have been compounded by the manner of their son’s
death. There was no need for a public announcement of Peter’s passing, the
Press had already attended to that, and without a post mortem examination,
within the context of the times, his burial was simple and swift. Along with the
irony of Peter’s death by gas poisoning there was a final irony; an examination
system which his father had survived at the turn of the century was still the
‘norm’ and it became a last impossible hurdle in Peter’s young and fragile life.
But Peter’s death may have left Robert and Emily another cruel burden. When
Emily died in 1975, she had been almost completely crippled by arthritis for
over forty years, a virtual recluse. Throughout this time Robert devoted
himself to her care. According to Chirnside’s Obituary of Robert (Chap. 18),
Emily’s condition appeared about the time Peter died. Today, the link
between emotional trauma and physical illness is well established.
16 The GEC Laboratories 1930–1939
391
their despair building … but you didn’t. Years later, Richard Feynman who
suffered the death of his lovely young wife from ‘TB’, learned to accommodate science within the important things of life
34
;
[Tell your son to …] stop trying to fill your head with science - for to fill your
heart with love is enough.
Robert and Emily now not only carried the most unnatural burden of a parent,
the death of their child, but guilt and stigma. Maybe they learned something
from the way Augustin and Edith coped with the death of Austen (Chap. 1).
Even so, our current understanding of child bereavement is such that Robert
and Emily’s life would have changed forever. Men and women grieve differently. Men try to rationalise their life by continuing to do all the ‘normal’
things. But mothers are always crying inside. Even years later, a phrase, a
mannerism, a look … reminds them of what has passed bringing silent floods
of tears which for fathers, although understood, is both sudden and unexpected. Women more than men look for support amongst family and friends
to talk about their bereavement. But it is not so simple. Friends we have had
for years are often uncomfortable with the depth of our grief, ‘crossing the
road’ to avoid contact for fear of saying the wrong thing, and for the Le
Rossignols this would have been compounded by the manner of their son’s
death. There was no need for a public announcement of Peter’s passing, the
Press had already attended to that, and without a post mortem examination,
within the context of the times, his burial was simple and swift. Along with the
irony of Peter’s death by gas poisoning there was a final irony; an examination
system which his father had survived at the turn of the century was still the
‘norm’ and it became a last impossible hurdle in Peter’s young and fragile life.
But Peter’s death may have left Robert and Emily another cruel burden. When
Emily died in 1975, she had been almost completely crippled by arthritis for
over forty years, a virtual recluse. Throughout this time Robert devoted
himself to her care. According to Chirnside’s Obituary of Robert (Chap. 18),
Emily’s condition appeared about the time Peter died. Today, the link
between emotional trauma and physical illness is well established.
16 The GEC Laboratories 1930–1939
391