MAsters of the universe?
143
success of the Waters gang’s robberies. If the video player is “paused,” the
front pages can be read in considerable detail. They contain, in smaller
articles, an ad hominem attack on Boris Johnson, the then Mayor of London
(“Thames to become watery motorway”), 36 and other material that could
be read as preoccupied with social, rather than criminal, justice. As there
is no masthead on these newspapers, we do not know if they are meant to
be left- or right-wing publications, to belong to Magnussen’s roster of titles
or to be his rivals in the field.
As tabloid parodies, they are hard to decode; although the writers aim
for the salient stylistic features of a tabloid report, in one sentence there
is a disjointed syntax that is rare in tabloid journalism: “The hair-brained
scheme involved chartering disused boats, paying for their conversion into
a version of London’s famous bus, the Routemaster, but this plan has already
foundered after pilot schemes revealed that customers were walking straight
off the bus and into the icy currents of the Thames.” 37 Although the article
savages Johnson’s populist, upper-class buffoon persona (the Mayor was
“at a self-promotion event” and “was found to be dithering, incoherent and
self-interested”), it quotes him as shouting “Hussar!” (a noun denoting a light
cavalryman) instead of “huzzah!” (an interjection meaning “hooray”). 38
A further article legible in these front pages is called “Potential freezing
spell puts funeral directors on red alert.” Like the Johnson news items, it is
unclear whether the article is parodying the news with satirical intent, or
pastiching it for broad comedy purposes. The quoting of a “Funeral home
spokesman” called “Stephen Deadman” suggests the latter, while the later
line, “A Tory spokesman responded rather tersely to the potential crisis,
saying, ‘This is a problem that we inherited from the last government’,”
implies the former. 39
Although the right-wing UK tabloid The Daily Mail reported these spoof
newspapers as evidence of Sherlock, Moffat, and the BBC’s left-wing bias, 40
such an interpretation shuts down the spoof tabloids’ considerable
36 Johnson was subsequently appointed Foreign Secretary in the May government in 2016.
37 Sherlock, “The Sign of Three.” We are left to wonder whether the spelling “hair-brained” is a
misprint, a misunderstanding of the meaning of the expression “hare-brained,” or a weak pun
on Johnson’s famously unruly blond hair.
38 Sherlock, “The Sign of Three.” A further ambiguity: this could either be a transcription error
on behalf of the fictional newspaper, or else an indication that Johnson, for all his talk in the
article of “our great history” and his fame as an Oxford-educated old Etonian, actually knows
and cares little about British traditions, rather like Magnussen.
39 Sherlock, “The Sign of Three.”
40 Kelly, “Sherlock’s new press baron foe.”
143
success of the Waters gang’s robberies. If the video player is “paused,” the
front pages can be read in considerable detail. They contain, in smaller
articles, an ad hominem attack on Boris Johnson, the then Mayor of London
(“Thames to become watery motorway”), 36 and other material that could
be read as preoccupied with social, rather than criminal, justice. As there
is no masthead on these newspapers, we do not know if they are meant to
be left- or right-wing publications, to belong to Magnussen’s roster of titles
or to be his rivals in the field.
As tabloid parodies, they are hard to decode; although the writers aim
for the salient stylistic features of a tabloid report, in one sentence there
is a disjointed syntax that is rare in tabloid journalism: “The hair-brained
scheme involved chartering disused boats, paying for their conversion into
a version of London’s famous bus, the Routemaster, but this plan has already
foundered after pilot schemes revealed that customers were walking straight
off the bus and into the icy currents of the Thames.” 37 Although the article
savages Johnson’s populist, upper-class buffoon persona (the Mayor was
“at a self-promotion event” and “was found to be dithering, incoherent and
self-interested”), it quotes him as shouting “Hussar!” (a noun denoting a light
cavalryman) instead of “huzzah!” (an interjection meaning “hooray”). 38
A further article legible in these front pages is called “Potential freezing
spell puts funeral directors on red alert.” Like the Johnson news items, it is
unclear whether the article is parodying the news with satirical intent, or
pastiching it for broad comedy purposes. The quoting of a “Funeral home
spokesman” called “Stephen Deadman” suggests the latter, while the later
line, “A Tory spokesman responded rather tersely to the potential crisis,
saying, ‘This is a problem that we inherited from the last government’,”
implies the former. 39
Although the right-wing UK tabloid The Daily Mail reported these spoof
newspapers as evidence of Sherlock, Moffat, and the BBC’s left-wing bias, 40
such an interpretation shuts down the spoof tabloids’ considerable
36 Johnson was subsequently appointed Foreign Secretary in the May government in 2016.
37 Sherlock, “The Sign of Three.” We are left to wonder whether the spelling “hair-brained” is a
misprint, a misunderstanding of the meaning of the expression “hare-brained,” or a weak pun
on Johnson’s famously unruly blond hair.
38 Sherlock, “The Sign of Three.” A further ambiguity: this could either be a transcription error
on behalf of the fictional newspaper, or else an indication that Johnson, for all his talk in the
article of “our great history” and his fame as an Oxford-educated old Etonian, actually knows
and cares little about British traditions, rather like Magnussen.
39 Sherlock, “The Sign of Three.”
40 Kelly, “Sherlock’s new press baron foe.”