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Subtle Agroecologies
consciousness. Our shared consciousnesses, although very different as man and cows, were as One.
It took me a while to embrace this.
However, among all my friends and even my family, only my wife knew that I had changed – not
a single other person I knew. I mentioned the change to a couple of very close friends, and they even
laughed at me. It was very sobering to know that humans with whom I shared consciousness were,
in fact, far less conscious of this change than my cows. Eventually, I was to learn that humanity lives
largely subconsciously, while all animals live fully in a conscious state. This is a huge subject that
I will not pursue in these pages.
I later asked the metaphysical aspect of Awkward if she had anything to do with what had happened. What she told me was a shock. ‘It is all about timing. Eggs hatch at the perfect time, and
so do buds unfold. The bud of your potential needed a great shock to bring you to a higher level of
consciousness’. I asked why. ‘Because like so many humans you are into trauma and drama as a
stimulant for inner growth. Pain is the usual supplier for this’. (I should add that I no longer use such
techniques for inner growth!)
Most people are unaware of the energies of life. As I developed my ability to go ever deeper into
the metaphysical world, so I learned that Chaos – the engine that drives, Order – the stability of
structure, and Balance – the place of highest potential, are the energies that govern all life. For me,
Chaos is a range of about a thousand shades of red. Each shade has a different energetic expression,
ranging from a red of extraordinary grace to a red of extreme rage and on to pure wordlessness. I
struggle to explain this as it is purely metaphysical, and for this, we have no language. Order, for
me, is in the range of the colour black and also has a vast diversity of meanings. Balance is a fickering pure white, which has the greatest energy of all. I have named these energies Chaos, Order
and Balance with capitals simply because these words are the best ft. I need to say that I experience these all on an emotional, not intellectual, level. They suggest to me that we are on the cusp
of developing an emotional language that far exceeds our mental one, but this is all tied to our state
of consciousness. Imagine you have a thick rope. You are twisting it to the right, Chaos, and your
friend is twisting it to the left, Order. This twisting in opposite directions creates torsion in the rope.
Too much either way and the torsion is out of balance. However, if the twisting is equalised, the
torsion moves into Balance. In a way, Chaos and Order are in direct opposition with each other, yet
from this comes Balance. As an example, a wildfre is pure Chaos with no Order, while a rock is
pure Order with no Chaos. In a sick person, either Chaos or Order is dominant, depending on their
condition. In a vital, healthy person, they are in Balance.
As you follow this, you may realise that this principle applies to every living organism, from
the tiniest micro to the largest macro forms of life. As an ex-dairy farmer, let me give an example.
A human crowd is utter Chaos. Not so in animal herds. Every cow in the herd has the Chaos/
Order dynamic within her. Generally, the more Chaos, the more dominant the cow. This creates
the ‘pecking’ order. The cows are quietly grazing in the paddock. Each cow is always standing in
perfect proximity to every other cow in the herd. My cattle dogs move in and hurry all the cows
towards the milking shed. The dogs are enthusiastic and the cows are being rushed. All is now
Chaos in the herd. They reach the holding yard with the swinging gate, and every cow is in the
wrong position with regard to the others. To the degree that they can, they head-knock each other
into the right pecking order, but this is hampered by the gate and the cows being steadily taken into
the milking stalls.
With the milking fnished, the cows congregate either outside the milking shed, or wherever the
farmer takes them. They lay down long enough to fnd their own Chaos/Order/Balance equilibrium
before eventually moving away to graze once more in the proper order of dominance. A wise farmer
allows time for the cows to rebalance their energy. It is essential for the well-being of the herd.
After completing my 8-year apprenticeship with the cows in the dairy, I reached a turning point.
All my milk had until then been separated and some sold as cream. Then, the butter factory said it
would only take whole milk to process themselves. So it was either ‘get in deeper, or get out’. An
easy choice for me! I had been breeding my own beef herd with Hereford bulls over my Frisian
Subtle Agroecologies
consciousness. Our shared consciousnesses, although very different as man and cows, were as One.
It took me a while to embrace this.
However, among all my friends and even my family, only my wife knew that I had changed – not
a single other person I knew. I mentioned the change to a couple of very close friends, and they even
laughed at me. It was very sobering to know that humans with whom I shared consciousness were,
in fact, far less conscious of this change than my cows. Eventually, I was to learn that humanity lives
largely subconsciously, while all animals live fully in a conscious state. This is a huge subject that
I will not pursue in these pages.
I later asked the metaphysical aspect of Awkward if she had anything to do with what had happened. What she told me was a shock. ‘It is all about timing. Eggs hatch at the perfect time, and
so do buds unfold. The bud of your potential needed a great shock to bring you to a higher level of
consciousness’. I asked why. ‘Because like so many humans you are into trauma and drama as a
stimulant for inner growth. Pain is the usual supplier for this’. (I should add that I no longer use such
techniques for inner growth!)
Most people are unaware of the energies of life. As I developed my ability to go ever deeper into
the metaphysical world, so I learned that Chaos – the engine that drives, Order – the stability of
structure, and Balance – the place of highest potential, are the energies that govern all life. For me,
Chaos is a range of about a thousand shades of red. Each shade has a different energetic expression,
ranging from a red of extraordinary grace to a red of extreme rage and on to pure wordlessness. I
struggle to explain this as it is purely metaphysical, and for this, we have no language. Order, for
me, is in the range of the colour black and also has a vast diversity of meanings. Balance is a fickering pure white, which has the greatest energy of all. I have named these energies Chaos, Order
and Balance with capitals simply because these words are the best ft. I need to say that I experience these all on an emotional, not intellectual, level. They suggest to me that we are on the cusp
of developing an emotional language that far exceeds our mental one, but this is all tied to our state
of consciousness. Imagine you have a thick rope. You are twisting it to the right, Chaos, and your
friend is twisting it to the left, Order. This twisting in opposite directions creates torsion in the rope.
Too much either way and the torsion is out of balance. However, if the twisting is equalised, the
torsion moves into Balance. In a way, Chaos and Order are in direct opposition with each other, yet
from this comes Balance. As an example, a wildfre is pure Chaos with no Order, while a rock is
pure Order with no Chaos. In a sick person, either Chaos or Order is dominant, depending on their
condition. In a vital, healthy person, they are in Balance.
As you follow this, you may realise that this principle applies to every living organism, from
the tiniest micro to the largest macro forms of life. As an ex-dairy farmer, let me give an example.
A human crowd is utter Chaos. Not so in animal herds. Every cow in the herd has the Chaos/
Order dynamic within her. Generally, the more Chaos, the more dominant the cow. This creates
the ‘pecking’ order. The cows are quietly grazing in the paddock. Each cow is always standing in
perfect proximity to every other cow in the herd. My cattle dogs move in and hurry all the cows
towards the milking shed. The dogs are enthusiastic and the cows are being rushed. All is now
Chaos in the herd. They reach the holding yard with the swinging gate, and every cow is in the
wrong position with regard to the others. To the degree that they can, they head-knock each other
into the right pecking order, but this is hampered by the gate and the cows being steadily taken into
the milking stalls.
With the milking fnished, the cows congregate either outside the milking shed, or wherever the
farmer takes them. They lay down long enough to fnd their own Chaos/Order/Balance equilibrium
before eventually moving away to graze once more in the proper order of dominance. A wise farmer
allows time for the cows to rebalance their energy. It is essential for the well-being of the herd.
After completing my 8-year apprenticeship with the cows in the dairy, I reached a turning point.
All my milk had until then been separated and some sold as cream. Then, the butter factory said it
would only take whole milk to process themselves. So it was either ‘get in deeper, or get out’. An
easy choice for me! I had been breeding my own beef herd with Hereford bulls over my Frisian